"Let Go and Let God"

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about where my life has been and where it is going. I have thought so much lately about the changes I have been making in my own life. I have really enjoyed getting the compliments about my recent weight loss, the questions about how I finally found something that works, and the positive feedback I have gotten from those I know who are going through similar circumstances. As I was thinking about all of this, I remembered back to my pregnancy with Jacob (Jacob will be 4 on Valentine's day). Everything was so difficult during my pregnancy. The doctors really didn't think I would be able to sustain the pregnancy because my progesterone levels were so low. I had two very bad visits to the ER, and was on a lot of bedrest through the first trimester. Taking hormones, visiting the doc often, and just worrying about the little guy growing inside of me was very emotionally draining. My mom told me one day to "Let go, and let God". It sounded good, but my initial thought was "Thanks, mom. Easier said than done." It wasn't until my second trip to the ER that I actually knew what she meant. I felt like I had cried all the tears I could cry. I was poked repeatedly by needles (13 times before they could get the IV in), waited 11 hours to find out if I was still pregnant, and then told I was pregnant but that it may end badly. Doctors always have to prepare you for the worst. I was sent home to rest (again). My regular OB was out, so her partner called me. This man wasn't always the nicest man. Infact, I really did not care for him at all. However, this day, he had something worth while to say. It was almost as if the words were placed on his heart by God, because he said exactly what I needed to hear at that point. He told me that I may not be able to carry my child to term. He also told me that it was in God's hands. That hit home. My tiny baby was in God's hands. Afterall, he was the one who gifted him to me in the first place. At that moment, I knew that everything would be fine. I had a peace come over me that I had never known before. Whether I would carry my baby to term, or one day meet him in heaven, I knew it was ok. He was God's child, and therefore, he would be protected.

Often times I forget that I am not the one in control. I need to take time to admit that I could not do this alone. God is how I am making the differences in my life. He is who gave me everything I have to live for. I want to be healthy for my husband and child. I want to be a good example to my son. I guess I just needed to take some time out of my day to recognize all that I do have, and all that I am working for. Thank you God for the many blessings in my life!

To all of you who are trying to conceive, or trying to sustain a pregnancy, remember to Let Go and Let God. He is there for you to lean on when you cannot stand on your own.