Winning my life back. My battle against PCOS.

Last week marked the week I decided to get my life back...again.  I went to the grocery store Monday morning and bought some oatmeal, tuna, yogurt, and vegetables.  I started off strong.  Then came the 4th of July.  I had a couple of beers and grazed all day.  Thursday I had Chinese for lunch.  Did I let myself down?  How do I get back on track?  Should I just give up?  You know the thoughts that creep in.  I logged onto the Lose It app 3 times last week.  It's kinda hard to log when you're on the run and can't find an exact match to your meal.  Sunday came.  I thought about all the bad choices I made the prior week.  I felt defeated. I reminded myself why I started this journey and that I made a commitment to do better.  I reminded myself it is a journey, not a race.  In that, I reflected on what I had changed in that week.  I made a mental list: 1. I did not stop at McDonalds every morning for a ...

Life happens.  That is what has been the case for the last 7 years since my last post.  So much has happened, changed, gotten better, gotten worse.  Below are some of my changes: 2012 - the day I found out I was pregnant 2013 - Baby #2, Elise Renee arrived.  Never thought this would be possible.  Blessed beyond measure. November 2013- job promotion to Assistant Manager.  Required travel of 2 hours a day on road.  Better money for family and great opportunity for me.  Started eating out consistently and gained 30 pounds in a few months.  Family life was wonderful. August 2014 - I take on a branch of my own as Manager.  I don't have time to eat healthy, right?  Sad thing is I worked with some very fit women who were always encouraging me.  I couldn't get out of my own way.  Gained another 25 pounds. October 2016 - I came back to my home branch of 13 years as the manager.  Closer to home. Great steps in my ...

I know I am not nearly as diligent as I was in the beginning about keeping up with my blog posts.  Perhaps this is because it is summer time, I have been too tired after work, lack of motivation, etc.  All of that is an excuse though.  I have gotten back on the exercise wagon.  I still don't work out as often as I should, but I have been doing water aerobics two times a week for a couple of weeks now.  I go with 3 other girls from work.  There are only 7 of us in the office, and 4 of us go.  It is fun to be able to do something together outside of work.  Although Jen teases the heck out of me, I enjoy the time to do something for myself with my buddies.  I have still managed to lose weight.  I am trying to stick to the gluten free and sugar free diet like I have been since October, but find it to be much more tempting to cheat now that I have shed so much weight.  It is like the little "diet devil" sitting on one shoulder sayin...

WOW!!  It has been a while since I have done this!  Excuse me if I am a little rusty at putting my thoughts down on paper (or puter).  Things have been crazy the past couple of weeks (about 4 to be exact).  I left off on the last blog touching on the tick bite and Charles' layoff.  Since then, the tick bite has gotten much better!  The infection is gone, but the wound is still very itchy.  Charles is still laid off, but we have been fortunate with blessings.  Jacob has gone into this allergy season with a LOT of issues.  He is very allergic to almost everything.  His eyes were the first sign.  He had such bad allergies that they almost swelled shut.  Then came the infection.  He was put on Singulair, Clariton, nose spray and eye drops.  After the eyes started to get better, the breathing got worse.  He ended up in the ER, and had to do three rounds of steroid treatments.  He then was put on more medication....

OK, so it has been a while since my last posting, so what you are about to read is a list of ramblings that have been going through my mind for the past week.  1. B.U.T.T.- My life is full of acronyms, so I created one that makes sense for women going through the same things as me.  Every woman has insecurities.  Most of them can be narrowed down into this four letter acronym.  (Butt, udders, tummy and thighs).  I was looking in the mirror last week and was thinking about the changes my body has gone through with the recent weight loss.  Obviously, I am liking my appearance a lot more than I used to.  However, I have come to realize that there will always be parts of a woman that they are never quite satisfied with.  I read on a friend's blog a couple of weeks ago about her battle with "chub rub", you know, when the tops of your thighs rub together creating holes in all of your favorite pants, or giving you the chafing that burns like something ...

I realize how I have been neglecting my blogly duties.  There has been a LOT of personal things that my family has been dealing with the past month.  I wanted to say thank you for all of my friends and families prayers.  I feel that God has once again shown us that HE is in charge, and that we need nothing more than to lean on HIM in times of trouble and turmoil. That being said, I am happy to say that I did not rely on food as my crutch through the past several weeks.  In the past, I would have plumped up a good 10 pounds just from shoving every comfort food within reach directly into my pie hole.  Amazingly enough, I even lost 2 pounds.  No, mama, I did not starve myself either.  I did fall away from exercise regularity for a while.  I still exercised, but not as often, and didn't go to Zumba at all last week.  I felt it necessary to spend as much time as possible with my guys.  Speaking of Zumba, I really did not want to go last n...

If it were possible to shake off all your fat in one night, tonight would've been the night!  Ms. Annie kicked my booty hard core tonight.  It probably didn't help that I had Mexican directly before Zumba!  I have to say that I did allow myself a cheat this evening, but have been very good all week.  I know it is only Monday, but I am talking about 7 days, not the work week. I got to watch my sissy shake her groove thang too!  It is hard not to giggle at one another.  We feed off of each other.  I am curious to see what I weigh in at tomorrow.  A lot has been going on lately.  While I haven't had anything bad to eat, there has been a lot of eating on the run.  My routine has been off. Here's to hoping the rest of this week gets back to the normal routine of things.  ~Signing off for now, Jess

JULY 2010 (208 LBS)    DEC 2010 (191 LBS) MARCH 2011 (175 LBS) 5 MORE POUNDS UNTIL I REACH MY INITIAL GOAL!! 1 MORE POUND UNTIL I REACH A "HEALTHY" BMI!! 

I watched a show tonight about how kids bully one another.  There were several different scenarios thrown about.  There was the "overweight girl" who was taunted by the so called "pretty girls".  There was the "tom boy" who didn't quite fit in.  Then there were the boys;  one boy who was not so athletic thrown into the mix with some very athletic peers.  Although the individuals bullying and being bullied were just actors, the bystanders didn't know, and the scenarios were very realistic. I was bullied as a child.  It wasn't so much in grade school, but by the time I hit 7th grade, it was in full force.  I was not overweight then.  I was actually very thin.  I was not athletic at all.  I excelled in academics.  I was not wealthy.  I didn't wear the "coolest" clothes.  The list goes on.  If someone could pick on me for something, they did.  I went to a different school district during high school.  The...

I spoke with my doctor's office.  The news from my recent blood panels was great.  I have lowered my cholesterol about 100 points, my glucose levels were normal, and my triglycerides were also normal.  I lowered my triglycerides by almost 200 points.  The doc was very pleased.  He said I didn't need to have anymore blood work ran for a year.  I do need to raise my good cholesterol, but couldn't have really been happier with the results.  I finally feel like my hard work is paying off.  The outside appearance was an obvious change, but you never really know what is taking place in your body.  To see those numbers on paper really put things into perspective.  I feel like I have no choice but to maintain this lifestyle now.  The proof is definitely in the numbers.  That was a true blessing from God.  I have been praying about this for 5 months along with family and church family.  I feel like God has laid a new path befo...

I went to the doctor's office first thing this morning to have my follow-up blood work done. This is the follow up that was scheduled 4 months ago at the beginning of my journey. This was a very nerve racking morning for me. I tried to put on a brave face, but the unknown is getting to me. I hate surprises! Several things raced through my mind as I waited to get stuck. I reflected on the last 4.5 months. I am very proud of the lifestyle changes I have made. I have lost 30 pounds, eat healthy, and even exercise regularly now. One would think my numbers would have no choice but to improve. Then there is the memory of the doctor saying that my cholesterol could still be high even with diet and regular exercise. I knew this going into my journey, but have the hope that I will not have to be medicated. The side effects of cholesterol meds really concern me. The results should be in within the next two days. I am really anxious to see how things pan out. I feel like I am back in s...

30 lbs down as of Saturday!!!!!!  I couldn't have been more excited!  Every time I feel like goofing off or swaying in the tiniest way, I remember how far I have come.  I also know I don't want to go back to the place I was.  I wasn't myself for over a year.  I had no drive to get out and do things.  Everything seemed like a chore.  I wasn't even the mom or wife I know God intended me to be.  Don't get me wrong.  I was and still am a devoted wife and mother.  However, I am much more active with my family now.  I want Jacob to see me making healthy choices so it is not something he has to learn.  It will just be something that comes natural to him. Speaking of the little man...we celebrated his 4th Birthday with a party yesterday.  There were 35 people in my house.  It was great to have all of my family and friends in one place.  I think everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves.  I was beat after al...

So...my back was hurting last week, so I didn't do my miles.  I did the two Zumba sessions, but that is it.  I skipped Monday for Jacob's birthday.  I really did not want to go tonight.  It would have been much easier to sit down and watch the Biggest Loser people sweat instead of sweating myself.  So....I....went to Zumba!  There is no room for excuses at this point in the game.  As soon as I let the old ways creep back in, there is no telling what kind of down-ward spiral will ensue.  I was happy to find that I have lost a total of 28 pounds now.  I just have one pound to go until I am out of the 180's.  I am almost back to the weight I was when I said my vows!!  Yay for me.  It wouldn't be as much of a journey without the friends who are on this journey with me.  I am literally watching people I have known for years melt away before my very eyes.  There isn't even magic involved.  It's just good ol...

I cannot believe it was four years ago today that my little man was welcomed into my arms.  He was worth every minute of doubt, pain, and all of the tears shed.  I thank God every day for the blessing that it is to be his mommy!  We spent the day having lunch with Papa, went to see my friend Leslie's new Valentine baby (also a miracle baby), and then daddy made us lobster tail and shrimp for dinner.  Does it get any better?  Obviously, I skipped Zumba tonight... I even managed to file our taxes which was the worst part of my day.  All in all, it was a great day to spend with my little angel.  Signing off for now, ~Jess

Ok....step 1. NEVER DO ZUMBA IN SHAPE UPS!!!<-----Unless you are very coordinated.  I did this last Thursday, and paid dearly for it.  I was sore until Monday.  I had the day off and did a ton of laundry.    I decided that every time I would go upstairs to get a new load, I would do lunges.  I then followed up with Zumba in the evening.  There was one new routine, but it substituted another song, so I thought I would be just fine. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling awful.  I had really hurt my back with the shoes, and didn't rest like I should have over the weekend.  I went to see the chiropractor yesterday.  I felt so good this morning when I woke up that I wore my heeled boots to work today.  I know...what was I thinking?  I followed that up with Zumba again this evening.  I am not sure if I am putting more effort into it, or not drinking enough water, or pushing myself too hard at home, or what, BUT I am sore toni...

It is funny to me how the society views "skinny" or "thin". Everyone wants to look perfect in a bathing suit, but are never satisfied when they put it on. I went to Florida with one of my best friends when we were 19. I weighed 160 pounds. I thought I was huge! I got plenty of stares, but I managed to convince myself that they were looking at my fat butt and pale skin instead of the fact that they may have been admiring the scenery. I got married a month before my 23rd birthday. I weighed 172 pounds. I was so bummed that I couldn't lose he weight before the big day. I did love my dress though! When I got pregnant with Jacob, I weighed 180 pounds. I had reached an all time high at that point. I thought I was lucky to have lost 12 lbs in the beginning of my pregnancy. How stupid is that? I was losing weight because I was sick and on bedrest, but felt good about the drop in pounds. Why is it that we are never happy with who we are? Why is I that a...

I could have used the fact that I didn't have to work yesterday, and only had a half day on Tuesday as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted and not exercise.  It would have been really easy considering Zumba was canceled.  I am proud to say that I didn't do that.  I walked 2 miles Monday, 2 miles Tuesday, played on my Auntie's Wii Fit Wednesday (after bowling), and did some Zumba tonight.  Hopefully all of this hard work is paying off.  I was excited to find out this morning that I am down another half a pound.  I believe that makes a pound and a half in the last three weeks.  That is ok.  I realize I have hit somewhat of a plateau.  In the past, this would have been about the time that I would say, "Well, obviously it is not worth it.  I give up!"  I keep reminding myself of why I started this journey.  It isn't just to better my health.  It is to be a better wife and mother to the family I have been blessed with.  I...

I was on the last sentence of a very long blog entry when I somehow hit delete.  Without typing everything over again, I will sum it up.  Today marks the 6 month anniversary of my Papa's death.  It is also what would have been his 77th Birthday.  I miss him very much each day.  I want nothing more than to make him proud.  I will continue this journey each day remembering what you taught me growing up; that I can do anything I put my mind to.  I will not give up. I love you very much.  Until we meet again... ~Jess

Bummed there was no Zumba tonight, but came home and did 2 miles of my walking video. I had some Imos lunch buffet today, so felt it necessary to still work out this evening. I was very excited this morning to see that I did actually shed a pound. That makes the first pound lost in three weeks! 26 lbs down and counting. I am going to kick this PCOS in the butt! My initial goal is to lose 38 pounds. That will put me just under what I was when I got married. The next part of my goal is to get into a slinky black dress I have yet to buy. The plan for that dress is to wear it to my 10 year high school reunion. I don't necessarily want to look the way I did in high school. That is unrealistic. I would, however, like to hear someone say, "Wow. You look great!". Don't let this weather be an excuse to not exercise! Get up and move! Signing of for now, ~Jess

I honestly cannot figure out if people are just freaking out for no reason, or if we are actually likely to get over a foot of snow with an inch of ice.  We don't have a generator, and the thought of no electricity is not at all appealing.  I just hope that we can get to where we need to be safely, and home safely.  Is it sad that I am concerned that Zumba will be cancelled?  I guess it shows how much I actually enjoy it!  I didn't do the mile I promised myself today, but it is because I was not feeling the best.  I got a ton of rest and finished the night with our small group.  It was a very insightful evening. I hope all of you who are traveling in the next few days take it slowly.  Please be careful.  I am praying that we all remain safe and warm. Signing off for now, ~Jess